STARTING OVER AFTER A BAD RELATIONSHIP

STARTING OVER AFTER A BAD RELATIONSHIP

According to Jeremiah 29:11

God knows the plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Know that God loves you, and He is paving the way to a happy, peaceful, wonderful and fulfilled future for you.

1. ACCEPT WHAT CANNOT BE CHANGED

Besides  a spiritual tip for starting over after a bad relationship, everything you fight brings more pain, heartache, discomfort, bitterness and fear. Everything you accept brings a sense of peace, surrender, and resilience.

2. ACT AS IF THIS BREAKUP IS THE BEST THING IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW

Visualize a breakup by closing your eyes and pretending that you WANTED breakup, that you’re HAPPY to be starting over after a bad relationship. Rest in the knowledge that the best thing for you is a breakup, that starting over is the best thing that could ever happen in your life. Feel relaxed and even excite.

Once these things are done, you will notice how calm and happy you would feel. Acceptance is the key to starting over after a bad relationship.

3. KNOW THAT YOU CAN AND WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN

Have no fear – you WILL find another person to love and cherish you. Most people (male/female) stay in bad relationships because they are  scared they would never find anyone else lovable, too old to start over, too fat and dumb and family-less to be loved. This is not true for me – and it’s not true for you either. Get through the fear and insecurity of starting over after a bad relationship by reminding yourself that the breakup doesn’t represent your last chance of happiness.

4. DON’T BELIEVE THE LIES

What lies are you hearing about yourself, your body, your future, your personality? What lies do you believe? What lies are you telling yourself? These are the most common lies your mind often whispers:

a.               “I will never find anyone else to love me, because all the good men/women are taken”

b.             “I will never be able to stop obsessing about my ex or get on with my life.”

5. BELIEVE YOUR EX’S ACTIONS OVER HIS WORDS

 

Your ex may say everything from “It’s all  your fault” to “I love you, I’ll never hit you again, I’m sorry. But, how does he/she show you his/her love? Does he/she put you first in his/her life, respect your wishes, and do things to make you happy?  Believe what he/she does, not what he/she says. He/she can talk ‘til the cows come home, but if his/her actions don’t support his/her words, then he/she’s lying to you and himself/herself. Starting over after a bad relationship is about believing people when they tell you who they are.

6. OWN YOUR ROLE IN THE BREAKUP

Unfortunately, relationships don’t work out because of both partners’ actions, personalities, or beliefs. It’s not often one partner who creates a bad relationship. To start over after a bad relationship, figure out your role in the relationship. Don’t feel guilty or blame yourself for anything – just accept that your actions may have contributed to the breakup – or the growth of the unhealthy aspects of the relationship.

7. THINK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

I believe God’s word – and I believe that one of the best tips on starting over after a bad relationship is trusting that God has my best interests at heart. God loves me, protects me, and lives within me. He gives me power, strength, faith, and hope. I know that the bad things in my life happen for a reason, and that I can trust God to work all things together for my good. How are you and God doing these days? Are you on speaking terms?

8. REMEMBER THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Most breakups happen for specific reasons. Maybe your ex wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, or you weren’t ready to be in a relationship, or you two are not good together. For some reasons, it was an unhealthy relationship that had to end. Even if you don’t believe God, trust that the universe or karma is making things unfold exactly the way they should. Starting over after a bad relationship is about believing that the breakup was meant to be.

9. GET HELP IF YOUR EX IS STRUGGLING WITH EMOTIONAL ISSUES

Your ability to heal and start over after your relationship ends can be hobbled by your ex’s psychological or emotional health issues. If your ex – or you – are dealing with depression, anxiety, or other issues, I urge you to talk to a counselor. You don’t necessarily need to get counseling for months or years; even just calling a local help line can help you gain clarity and insight. Don’t rely on the internet for help with something as serious as starting over after a bad relationship with someone who is severely depressed or abusive.

10. ALLOW YOURSELF TIME TO START OVER AFTER A BAD RELATIONSHIP

Sometimes it takes a long time to heal after a breakup. There is no “normal” amount of time for healing – it takes some people years, while others can bounce back more quickly. To help yourself heal your emotions after breakup, don’t focus on the pain and guilt. Instead, focus on what you love about yourself, your life, and your future. Where are you going, where do you want to be in one year? Set your intentions, pray, and start heading in that direction!