HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN OF REJECTION

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN OF REJECTION

My experience with being rejected: I was suffering from a fault I wasn’t aware of as a leader of unit in my office – I still don’t know what, even after talking to one of them– and they don’t like me at all. They want to form a clique. I quickly and easily decided called for meeting which they reluctantly attended and issues where resolved..

This is how to  deal with rejection – as well as the pain of being rejected. Maybe my thoughts will help you learn how to deal with rejection in your own life…

PUT A POSITIVE SPIN ON BEING REJECTED

Research has shown that rejection actually affirms uniqueness and creativity for independent people. It confirms what they already feel about themselves – that they’re different and not like the others. For such people, the distinction of rejection is a positive one, and it can lead to greater creativity. But, rejection has the opposite effect on people who value belonging to a group. Rejection inhibits their cognitive ability. It’s painful – and they’re the ones who are searching for ways to deal with the pain of being rejected.

This may not be the best tip on how to deal with rejection if you’ve been rejected by an intimate partner, but it works for me! I wasn’t drawn to the women who rejected me, and I don’t care what they think about me. .

But rejection still hurts, even when you’re not enchanted by the people who are rejecting you. It’s still painful, even if you don’t care what they think. It hurts more if you care about the people, of course…but rejection is painful no matter how you slice it. That’s why ostracism and solitary confinement are huge punishments for people. Rejection hurts.

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

About my rejection: the truth is that I was judgmental and dismissive of a couple of the women in the group. I didn’t respect them, and I didn’t hide my feelings. I was rude. I didn’t care what they thought or how they felt. Maybe I didn’t “deserve” to be rejected from that group, but I had no problem leaving it. I wasn’t my best self with that group of women, and I knew it.

Sometimes we get rejected for good reason. Sometimes we behave badly, hurt people, say offensive things, damage relationships, or cause problems. If you’re honest with yourself, you may see why you were rejected. This honesty hurts, but it might be the first step to learning how to deal with rejection and the pain that results.

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TURN TO GOD

Yesterday I had the best prayer time ever, inspire by Nicky Gumbel’s Bible in One Year. It’s helping me deal with rejection because it affirms my belief that I will never be rejected by the only being who matters.

The easiest way to avoid wrong notes is to never open your mouth to sing what a mistake that would be.

 “The Spirit of the Lord brings radical freedom to our lives,” he wrote. “Freedom from legalism, guilt, condemnation, self-hatred and self-rejection. Freedom from the power of sin, selfishness, manipulation and control. Freedom from the fear of death and fear of what others think of us. Freedom from comparing ourselves with others.”

Do you feel free to use your life and energy to be yourself? You won’t find that freedom in a book or an article on how to deal with rejection. The pain of being rejected can only be healed by God. Why? Because He created you with a hole in your soul. That hole can only be filled by Him – His love, power, and grace.

LEARN FROM THE REJECTION YOU FACED

I’ve learned so much from the rejection I just experienced! I have to stop judging people and looking down my nose at them just because they’re different. I have to stop my ego from striving to feel superior and “better than.” I want to live in radical freedom – I want to be free to accept and embrace people for who they are!

I have to stop rejecting people. Writing these tips on how to deal with rejection has shown me that I am quick to reject. I judge and condemn. How can I be surprised or hurt when I’m rejected?

What about you – did you do anything that caused the rejection you’ve experienced? If so, learn from it. Don’t make the same mistakes again, in a new relationship.